Nobody Tells You How to Change Your Thoughts

I always knew my thoughts were unhealthy. I was harder on myself than any bully had ever been. But how was I supposed to change my thoughts when I believed it all to be true. I am fat, ugly, socially awkward, and a loser. This is what I thought, even though I was always told to love myself. It's hard to change your thought patterns when no one tells you how.

Freeing yourself from old beliefs doesn't happen overnight. It takes a lot of practice and baby steps. As I was learning from other women, I started with the bare minimum. I started to recognize that they were just practiced thoughts. Anytime a thought popped up that wasn't serving me, I just told myself, "That is just something my habit brain likes to tell me." I didn't try to change it. Just that recognition allowed me to start feeling better.

After that became an ingrained habit, I decided to level up. Anytime I thought something bad about myself, I told myself, "We don't talk shit to ourselves anymore." The more I practiced that, the fewer times I criticized myself. It was empowering. I was mystified by my new ability to rewire my brain. I studied as much as I could about emotional intelligence and how to change my mindset.

I learned that my thoughts cause my emotions, and my emotions inspire my actions. That meant changing my thoughts would change my emotions and actions. I started to think - if this is happening to me, then it is happening to the people I interact with. I could work that process backwards to reflect on what the other person might be thinking. It gave me a lot more compassion and empathy. I started to listen to my husband and other people in my life in a new way. It strengthened our marriage. I was no longer defensive, and I was no longer a pushover or people pleaser.

After seven years of practice, this still fascinates me. It's the reason I paint what I do. I'm always thinking about how my art can help other women who are doing the same work to improve their life. Take a look at my latest work. I think you will see that coming through.