How Do You Know If a Thought Is Actually True?

One of the most life-changing things I've learned over the past seven years is this:

Just because you think something doesn't mean it's true. That sounds obvious until you realize how many thoughts you accept as facts every single day.

For years, I walked around believing things like:

• I'm lazy.

• I'm a slob.

• I'm a horrible wife and mom.

• I don't know what I'm doing.

I didn't question those thoughts because they felt true. Most of us don't. We assume that because a thought shows up repeatedly, it must be accurate. In reality, many of our thoughts are simply habits. We've practiced them so many times that they run automatically. That was one of the biggest mindset shifts I've ever had.

Most thoughts are habitual. The thought itself isn't proof. The repetition isn't proof. The emotion it creates isn't proof. If you've ever struggled with negative self-talk, anxiety, or limiting beliefs, learning how to separate facts from interpretations can change everything. So, how do you know if a thought is actually true?

Facts vs. Interpretations

Let's start with something simple. Imagine your friend walks past you and doesn't say hello. What are the facts? Your friend walked past you. Your friend didn't say hello. That's it.

Now let's look at the thoughts your brain might create:

• She's mad at me.

• She doesn't like me anymore.

• I must have done something wrong.

• She's ignoring me on purpose.

  
  

Those are not facts. They're interpretations. Could they be true? Maybe. But we don't know. Most of the emotional pain we experience comes from the stories we tell ourselves about circumstances, not the circumstances themselves. Learning to identify the difference is a powerful form of emotional intelligence.

The Thought I Couldn't Let Go Of

One of the thoughts I struggled with most was:

I'm lazy.

It seemed true. I often felt exhausted. I had unfinished projects. My house was a mess. I wasn't accomplishing everything I thought I should. Clearly, I must be lazy. At least that's what I believed. But when I started questioning that thought, the evidence didn't hold up very well.

Lazy people don't read 100 books in a year.

Lazy people don't build businesses.

Lazy people don't train for a 10K.

Lazy people don't spend years studying personal growth and mindset work.

What I eventually realized was that I wasn't lazy.

I have two sleep disorders. I likely have some undiagnosed neurodivergence. Sometimes I have less energy available than I wish I did. That's very different from being lazy. The thought felt true. But it wasn't a fact.

How I Determine Whether a Thought Is Actually True

When I notice myself feeling anxious, discouraged, overwhelmed, or not good enough, I start asking questions.

Step 1: Identify the Thought

First, I ask:

What am I thinking right now?

Not what happened. Not what someone else did. What thought is creating this feeling? I usually discover the answer through journaling. I write until I find the thought that stings a little. The one that makes me uncomfortable. The one I secretly believe.

Step 2: Is This Actually a Fact?

This is where I get very specific. Could I prove this in a courtroom? Would a reasonable group of people agree this is objectively true? Or is this an opinion, assumption, interpretation, or fear? Most of the time, the answer becomes obvious. Be sure to look out for adjectives or modifiers. The thought might be: I've been sitting on my butt too much. What is too much? That's subjective. A fact would be: I sat on the couch for 30 minutes. There is no judgement in a fact.

Step 3: What Evidence Suggests This Isn't True?

This is my favorite question. Instead of gathering evidence for the thought, I gather evidence against it.

For example:

If the thought is:

I'm lazy.

I ask:

What evidence suggests that's not true?

The answers often reveal a much more balanced picture.

Step 4: What Else Is True?

Sometimes a thought contains a small piece of truth.

That's okay. Life isn't black and white. When that happens, I ask:

What else is true?

Maybe I didn't finish the project. But I started it. Maybe I made a mistake. But I'm learning. Maybe I'm struggling. But I'm still showing up. This question creates space for a fuller and more accurate story. One that is not full of judgement and shame.

A Simple Exercise You Can Try Today

The next time you feel anxious, discouraged, or overwhelmed, grab a journal and answer these questions:

1. What am I feeling?

2. What thought is creating this feeling?

3. Is this actually a fact?

4. Could I prove it in a courtroom?

5. What evidence suggests this isn't true?

6. What else is true?

7. What would be a more accurate or helpful thought?

   
   

You don't have to believe every thought your brain offers. Some thoughts deserve to stay. Others deserve to be challenged. You get to choose which ones to keep.

Why This Matters

The stories we tell ourselves shape the women we become. If we never question those stories, we risk building our lives around assumptions that were never true in the first place. It would also leave us feeling shame, judgement, or disappointment. That's why I continue to journal almost every morning. Not because I've mastered my mindset. Because I haven't. I still have automatic thoughts. The difference is that I know they are automatic. I know they are habits. And I know I have the power to examine them before I accept them as truth.

If you're interested in personal growth, mindset work, women empowerment, and the lessons that inspire my artwork, I'd love to have you join my email list. That's where I share new blog posts, new artwork, and the ideas that are helping me become the woman I'm still working to be.